The Insane World of HP2
by The Enchanted Cheesy Soybean
Summary: The eagerly awaited sequel! It's sixth year now and crazy things are happening again. But wait...What's this about the Curse of the MarySue? Due to the plot, this story includes my insane friends and I. oh, and there is a surprise ending. Mwuahaha!
1. An Awkward Beginning

Here it is! The sequel:

Disclaimer: I do not, shall not, and will not ever own any scrap of anything that I borrow from the genius that is known as J.K. Rowling.

Warning: There are Mary-sues in this, but it is a part of the plot and it is bashed. So...stay if you wish. (says in a singsong voice) It's pretty funny.

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The Insane World of Harry Potter

…The sequel

Ah, I see you have returned. Wanted to hear a good story again, eh? Well, you've come to the right place.

We begin, on a dark night, with an equally dark purpose….

"Mom!" Yelled an attractive fifteen year old girl. "Where's my new shirt!" She yelled as she dug brutally through her tiny closet. The girl's name was…Shmooglepoo. You thought it was me, didn't you? Well it isn't. I come in later.

Shmooglepoo, the midget, lived in Munchkinland. Yes, I know, we all hate Munchkinland, but that is where the story begins. So shut up.

Ahem, as I was saying: Shmooglepoo was looking ferociously through her closet for her favorite new shirt.

Everyone said that it made her look much thinner. And she needed that; she was getting a little plump. It was all because of that adorable munchkin that was courting her; he always had some chocolate treats to give her.

It was quite odd, how she met him. And he wasn't like all of the other munchkins, he was much more obnoxious. He was quite the immature one, but that was what she liked. She was somewhat manipulative, and the weaker the mind, all the easier to get her way.

"Mom! That shirt!" She yelled up the stairs. All she got was a mumbled, "Huh?" Her mother wasn't the brightest lily in the valley.

A knock sounded at the door. She squealed in delight. She had completely forgotten about her date with…Merry. (Evil laugh)

She opened the door and immediately hugged the stuffing out of poor Merry.

"Well…It looks like you're happy to see me." He said as she released him from her vise-like grip.

She blushed and giggled.

Merry inwardly cringed. He hated giggling.

"So, where are we going?" She asked as she wrapped her shawl around her shoulders and shut the door behind her.

He smiled obnoxiously. "You'll see."

In another world-

"Cheese, cheese, cheese! Everybody's gotta love cheese! Gets your noodle goin'!" Sang another fifteen year old, but this one was completely different from Shmooglepoo. Other than her name, origin, and terrible fashion sense, that is. This girl was…ME! MWUAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAAAA!

"Stacey, shut up." Chided my beautiful older sister. She is insane as well, but will only admit it upon certain circumstances. (Dr. Evil pose)

"Neighba!" I yell as I punch my fist into the air as a sign of rebellion.

She rolls her eyes.

I roll my eyes.

The spoon rolls its eyes.

Little kid- But there is no spoon.

Me- I know that.

Little kid- There is no Stacey.

My bones bend.

Me- Ow.

Little kid- Teheheehee! Nya nya nya! Tehehe whowa whoywa ha!

Me- …

Little kid- …

Spoon- …

Me- Ahem, as it were:

My sister, Kathryn, starts to incessantly poke me. (no really, she is) She's not stopping- oh wait. There, she stopped. Ahem. Moving on.

Rubs sore arm. "That hurt!" I say as I slap her.

"I didn't do anything!"

"Yes you did!"

"Did not!"

"Did so!"

"I've been sitting here, how could I have poked you if it wasn't written?"

"But it was!"

"That was in the real world stupid."

"…."

"Haha!"

"…uh…well….Nu uh!" The virtual me sticks her tongue out.

"…"

"…"

"There is no spoon."

"Hiya Bradley!" Stacey says as she waves her hand frantically in her friends face.

"So, wazzup Bradley?" Kathryn says.

"I wouldn't say that." The Kathryn in my mind says.

"Yes you would." The me in my mind says.

"Coooool. There's a me in my mind!" Says the virtual me.

"There's a me in everyone's mind." The virtual Bradley says.

"I'm bored, and all of these different me's and who's and whatzit's are confusing me." Says the virtual Kathryn.

Everyone stares at her.

"What?"

The virtual me nods, "She's right."

"Of course I'm right."

"I'm always right. And that is something that I would say." The Kathryn in my mind says.

"I'm glad I'm getting it right, now can I please get on with the story?" The me in my mind asks.

The virtual Kathryn, and the Kathryn in my mind nod.

"Good."

"now….for a plot…" The me in my mind finishes.

"Hmmm…." The real me starts to think.

Everyone waits.

The spoon waits.

Bradley taps her foot.

The virtual Kathryn picks at some gum under the table.

"Ewwww! I wouldn't do that!" the Kathryn in my mind says.

"Yes you would."

"No, I totally wouldn't. You suck." The Kathryn in my mind says as she throws an endless amount of popcorn at me.

"Aaaaahhhhhhhh!" I scream as I run for cover that miraculously appears.

Everyone starts to throw popcorn at me, and rocks, and pineapples, and grapes, and herring. Soon an angry mob forms and starts to poke me with sharp and pointy sticks.

"Ok ok! Mercy! Mercy! Uncle! Oww! My bones! My cornea! OUCH!"

Everyone gasps!

They all point!

"You said a bad word! We're taking you to the wizard!"

Ahem, skipping to the story. You all don't want to know the long and perilous journey that I had to take, so I'll just get to the good part.

"Stacey, where were you?" Bradley asked as a bedraggled me comes crawling up the road.

"I…I-I…sigh You don't wanna know." I say as clean clothes materialize on me.

Everyone suddenly appears due to a plot hole.

They scratch their heads.

"How did that happen?"

We all shrug.

The people that are now there are: Bradley (who was already there), Kathryn, Me (of course), Isabel, Jenny, Jennifer, Kimmie, Morgan, and sir-not-appearing-in-this-story.

Real me, "Stop poking me real Kathryn!"

Real Kathryn, "Is Kimmie Kim Possible?"

Kimmie, "I could be." (swirls a cape that comes out of nowhere.)

Real me, "No, she's not. You shall soon see who she is. MWUAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!"

Kimmie joins evil laugh, then realizes that she wouldn't do that, under most circumstances.

"Who was that…uh…Shmooglepoo….at the beginning of the story?" Asks Isabel, "Cause she ain't takin' my man. A huh. (z-formation snap)"

"I wouldn't say that." Says the real Isabel. "You suck." Throws popcorn at me.

"JUST STOP IT AND GET ON WITH THE BLOODY STORY!" Yells Merry.

We all stare at him, Isabel glomps him.

I blink.

"What happened to Shmooglepoo?" I ask.

"Oh, she was murdered by decapitation and her body dragged throughout all of Munchkinland because of her ugly name when you were off to see the wizard, at the beginning of this story." He answers.

"Ah. I see." I say.

…………………………………………………………………………….doo de doo…………………………………………..I like cheese ………………………………………………………………………. …………………………………………………………………………………… ………………………………………doo dee doo deedoo………………………I like cheese ………………………………………………………………………

…………………………………………………………………………………... …………………………………… ……………………………………………...

"What was that?" Jennifer asks.

"My mind." I answer.

She stares at me.

I stare back, and take a bite from an apple.

She spots the apple tree and hugs it. "I love trees." She says as she continues to hug the tree, then starts talking to it.

Everyone moves away a safe distance.

"I didn't know you could talk to trees." Says Maureen, who just appeared….magically…

Everyone stares at me.

"Hey, it could happen." I say as I finish my apple.

"Hey! How come I haven't said anything yet!" Says Jenny who was looking at her giant pile of Zuko pictures, and Gohan pictures, and Syrus pictures.

"Yeah! I'm hardly mentioned at all!" says Maureen.

"Yeah!" Choruses everyone (Kathryn, Jenny, Isabel who is still glomping Merry, Merry, Jennifer who is still hugging the tree, Kimmie, Bradley, and sir not-appearing-in-this-story)

"At least you actually said something." Shouts Morgan impatiently.

I stare at her, and point up to what she just said, "Doesn't that count?"

"No!"

"What...w-w-what are you doing! No! Stop! Stop...NOOO! Mmph!" I say as I struggle from inside the potato sack.

Everyone laughs wickedly.

"Now what do we do?" Asks Jenny who gives me a kick for good measure, thinking of what Zuko would do.

Morgan laughed.

The Morgan in my mind- "I wouldn't-"

Everyone- "We know."

Everyone either:

shuffled their feet,

snapped their fingers,

cleaned under their nails,

fought over who got to glomp Merry (Kimmie and Isabel),

just sat there,

and other nervous habits. Until...I arrived.

Everyone looked frantically around them, who was talking?

I laugh good naturedly.

"You cannot see me."

They all just stare at one another, hoping that one of them would know what is going on.

No one does.

So I tell them.

"I am the Narrator."

They cheer.

The story can be told now.

They look around expectantly.

Nothing happens.

Five minutes pass.

Jennifer sits in the grass that appears at her feet.

Isabel lets go of Merry and wonders what will happen.

Kimmie takes this opportunity to glomp Merry.

Maureen wonders if she will ever find a way to make chocolate magically appear.

Jenny wonders how she can capture Zuko, Gohan, and Syrus.

Kathryn wonders if she should chew the gum that she found under the table.

Morgan wonders what it would be like to glomp Rupert Grint.

Everyone- "STOP READING OUR THOUGHTS!"

Narrator- "Alright, alright."

Ten minutes pass.

Everyone and a huge mass of random knights- "GET ON WITH IT!"

"Bossy, bossy." Says the narrator, "I don't even have a book or script to go by."

"Here you go." I say as I hand him the script.

"How did you get out of the potato sack?" Everyone, and the mass of random knights ask.

"It's not important, just read the story." I say as I sit on the white nothing that everyone is standing in and on and about.

Everyone blinks.

I blink.

The narrator blinks.

The white nothing blinks.

"Enough of this!" says the plot, and everyone falls through the floor.

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End Chapter 1. Are you scared? Would you like a lolipop?

Snape: No, I wouldn't like a lolipop.

Me: I wasn't asking you.

Snape: Then who were you asking?

Me: (points) Them.

Snape: Who?

Me: (sigh) Why do you not like lolipops?

Snape: I'm allergic.

Me: Really? (evil smirk)

Snape: What are you doing?

Me: (licks the lolipop so it's sticky and slaps it on his hand, it swells)

Snape: Look what you did! You're such a freak.

Me: tehe. Reviews are like lolipops!


	2. Hogwarts, Anyone?

Yay! Second chappy.

Disclaimer: (DoI have to do this every time? I'm not sure. Anyone out there know?) Nothing is mine yada yada yada and so on. On with the chappy!

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Due to the plot, that's me, everyone appeared where they should be and now everything shall happen that should.

"Grumph." I, Stacey, mumble as I get up from the red carpeted floor. Wait, red carpeted floor? What happened to the white nothing?

I prop myself up on my elbows and look around. There are compartments all around me, like on a train, and the floor is shaking, or am I moving?

Wait a second…

I see a glowering figure behind one of the compartments; there are several others inside it as well.

I suck in a deep breath and squeal unnaturally loud.

I immediately poke the others awake.

They grumble and complain, but get up due to curiosity.

"What is it? Where are we?" Maureen asks.

I can only squeal and jump up and down.

Isabel grabs my shoulders and shakes me, "Calm down! Tell us where we are."

I bite my lip and smile like a maniac, still slightly jumping.

"She looks like she had too much sugar or something." Jennifer says as she looks around.

Kathryn nods, "Don't worry, it's pretty normal."

Morgan stares up and down the hallway, "This seems very familiar…"

Jenny gets tired of just standing there and walks over to me, "Will you just tell us where we are so we can find a way to get home? To my pictures and posters? Hmm?"

I take a deep breath, and let it all out with a high pitched giggle, the deep breaths not calming me one bit.

Merry sighs and yells, "Where the bloody heck are we already!"

Isabel glomps him.

Kimmie glares.

"I believe I can answer that." Says a voice from the direction of the compartment I had looked into before.

I start a new fit of squealing.

Everyone is too busy staring at the figure that just came out of the compartment to notice.

It was….

Dumbledore.

Everyone gasped.

Merry just whispered to Isabel, "Whose the old guy?"

Resisting the violent urge to elbow him in his cute hobbit ribs, Isabel just gave him a warning glare, Dumbledore was not to be mocked.

The silence was broken by Kathryn who collapsed on the floor, she fell asleep.

Dumbledore stared at her worriedly, "Is she alright?"

Everyone dumbly nods, not really noticing what happened.

Suddenly, as if something bit me, I jump forward and ask Dumbledore (rather loudly and in a high pitched girly voice with large sparkling eyes),

"Is Draco on this train! IS HOGWARTS STARTING A NEW YEAR!"

Dumbledore eyes me as if I were insane, ha….as if, "Why would you want to know?"

My eyes sparkle even more, "Because I lo-"

Everyone is staring at me like I've grown two heads.

I clear my throat, compose myself, and begin again, "I lo…uh…loaned him something. Yes, yes I loaned him something and I want it back." I grinned at my own genius.

Everyone shared worried glances. Am I more insane than I appear? What could I have possibly loaned to Draco? How did I even meet Draco? Who was Draco? the last question belonging to Merry

"So, is he on the train?" I ask again.

Dumbledore decides that I am not insane and merely weird. He decides to answer my question, "Yes, I believe he is in the very last compartment along with Vincent and Gregory." He says as he smiles.

I positively beam like a spotlight.

"Thank you Dumbledore!" I squeal as I hug him and run/skip/bounce to the end of the train.

Dumbledore faces the others, "You may find a compartment to sit in, you might as well stay until we find out where you came from and how to get you back."

Finally seeming to regain her ability to talk, Morgan asked, "Mr. Dumbledore…..sir?"

"Yes?"

"Do you know which compartment Rup- I mean….Ron Weasley is in?"

Dumbledore's eyes twinkled. "Yes, Ronald is in the next compartment over to the left."

Morgan beamed and started to giggle like a maniac.

Seeming to have had enough of giggling girls, Dumbledore returned to the teacher car.

Maureen, Kathryn, Isabel, Merry, Jenny, Bradley (who stole a lot of candy from the trolley-cart stash), Kimmie, and Jennifer all went to find a compartment.

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Draco was bored. The Malfoy mansion had been eerily quiet, his father was almost constantly at death-eater meetings and all his mother did was plan parties.

He sighed.

Ever since all of the students left on the Hogwarts express last year everything went back to normal.

Snape, somehow, turned back into a human; as did Voldemort.

Saint Potter put his puppet up.

The weasel stopped dressing like a freak, and more of a slum prude; par usual.

Mudblood stopped eating books (seemingly).

And Draco returned to his normal height and voice.

He sighed again.

Hopefully this year he would get more of the attention than the bloody Golden Trio was getting.

Like the heavens answering his prayer, the compartment door slide aside so fast that the glass broke all over Pansy (who was trying to carefully wipe the glass off her robes).

Crabbe stared.

Goyle stared.

Draco stared.

The girl panted, trying to catch her breath, all the while muttering incoherent things like, "here……the train……..red carpet……..Dumbledore………here……..the train…….llamas……. (Draco raised a sexy eyebrow at this. a/n: so I think his eyebrows are sexy, so what? GET OFF MY BACK! sulks in a corner muttering about silver bells)"

Finally catching her breath, the girl turned to Draco and could only stare, her eyes drooped and she was drooling all over the floor.

Bringing his feet up to the seat and sitting Indian style (to avoid the saliva), Draco eyed the girl distastefully. She was clearly a muggle.

Flicking the last piece of glass off, Pansy eyed her up as well. She scrunched her pudgy nose in distaste. "And what do you want?" She asked with a sneer.

But the girl did not notice she said anything. She didn't seem to even notice anyone else was in the compartment other than Draco.

Draco sneered and turned to look out the window.

Thinking that she would just go once he turned around, Draco turned from the window to find that she had not moved. She didn't even seem to blink.

He knew he was a fine specimen of wizard, but this was ridiculous.

Draco rolled his eyes.

"Would you mind?"

The girl snapped out of her trance, wiped the slobber off of her chin and answered.

"Mind w-w-what?" Her eyes started to get glassy again.

Draco snapped his fingers in her face; she just stared at his beautifully manicured hand.

He brought back his hand quickly and hid it in the pocket of his robes, he sensed a potential stalker.

"Mind if you leave? Now!" He answered her question, rather forcefully.

She blinked.

"Yes."

She sat in the seat in front of him.

Draco, Crabbe, Goyle, and Pansy all sent each other annoyed looks.

Goyle stood up and loomed over the girl.

"This is a Slytherin compartment, you can't be in here!"

The girl shrugged, "I don't know what house I'm in, so I'm not entitled to House rules."

Goyle blinked, and sat. Well, he tried.

Crabbe decided on a different approach.

"Hey…..w-w-what are you doing?"

Crabbe lifted the girl off the seat and flung her out the door.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!"

THUMP

"Ow."

The Slytherins all laughed.

Kathryn ran over to her sister, she had seen her being thrown out of the compartment.

"Ouch. You okay?"

Instead of moaning in pain, Stacey giggled. "He……he……TALKED TO ME!" She stared squealing and got up to bounce around the train.

Kathryn sighed.

She's hopeless.

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After pulling into Hogsmeade station, the train decided to go have a well deserved drink with his good friend Tommy…or was it Timmy? Anyway, after getting off the train, the nine friends climbed into the puny little boats that lead across the lake along with all of the first years.

"I'm not sure that this is real." Jennifer remarked as all of us somehow fit onto the tiny boat.

Maureen rolled her eyes, "Then what is it? A dream?" She said as she pinched Jennifer's shoulder.

"Ouch. Ok, maybe not. But this can't be real." Jennifer said as she rubbed the sore spot on her arm.

Deciding to have a word on the matter, Bradley spoke up, "Jennifer, you're being too realistic. Just go with it." She finished as she pulled some extra candies out of her pocket that she had nicked from the trolley.

"um…guys? I think Stacey left her brain on the train." Jenny remarked as she pointed to her.

They all turned to Stacey, she was staring off into the distance and her eyes were drooping.

"IT'S THE CURSE OF THE MARY-SUE!" Isabel screamed as she pointed at Stacey.

"What?" They all asked as one, except for Stacey.

"Whenever a fan is transported into another world their brain turns to cotton, hay, and dust and they become…….a Mary-sue." She answered in an ominous voice.

They all gasped.

Morgan started to wring her hands nervously, "No, it can't be!"

Isabel nodded, "That's the way it is."

Kimmie pointed to Merry and shouted, "I'M NOT BECOMING A MARY-SUE FOR YOU!"

Merry blinked in confusion.

Isabel said with finality, "I'm sorry, but it cannot be stopped."

Snapping out of her trance, and somehow knowing what Isabel just said, Stacey remarked loudly, "We have to get off! We have to go back!"

But just as she said this, Hogwarts loomed in the background.

"We're here."

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(theme song from twilight zone)

Me: oooooh! Spooky spook.

Snape: NEVER do that again.

Me: What? Spooky spook?

Snape: Avada Kadevra! (zap)

Me: AAAAAAAH! (is dieing) please...as my...(gasp cough cough)...last wish...(cough)...review...for...meeeee...(is dead)

Snape: (sighs impatiently) That's not how you are supposed to die.

Me: it's not?

Snape: No. When someone- wait. How are you alive?

Me: Well I-

Snape: Nevermind. The point is, you would have died on the spot. You would not have been able to speak.

Me: Pssh. How do you know?

Snape: GAH! Why am I talking to you?

Me: (shrugs) The next chappy will be very very long, so be ready for a good chapter!

Snape: That's what you say, but I know for a fact that it is a very stupid, and frivolous chapter.

Me: (talks to the plothole and Snape falls in) Ah, the power of being authoress.


	3. The Exciting Sorting, & Unpacking

I'm back! Sorry. My comp. was acting up because one of the wires was bent. pff. Doesn't that sound pathetic?

my comp.- Excuse me? Did you call me pathetic?

me- No. N-no of course not. I was calling the bent wire pathetic.

bent wire- What did you just say?

me- gah! Nevermind.

Disclaimer: All things belonging to J. K. Rowling are not my own for obvious reasons. Although I could always kidnap Rowling with my almighty ninja skills, somehow aviod burly bodygaurds and cameras and watchdogs and evil soul sucking bunnies, then hid her away in the wardrobe to Narnia (because everyone always stays there for a long time), and then get ownership of all things HP by hypmotising everyone into thinking I created it, then I would enslave the whole population (because I could) and would shape the world to be a cheese loving society and all would bow down to the all powerful giant cheese statue that was built on top of the Eifel Tower. But then I would be dethrowned and thrown into prison because I forgot about the colossal time-difference between Narnia time and our time, thus Rowling would be able to free all of the enslaved population and she would be a hero and I would become a villain with a wacky hair style and a bad idium thatI would always recite before I blast away to my evil lair in Greenland with my tiny turtle minions.

pant, pant, pant.

Ok, i think i'm done.

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Stepping out of the tiny, wobbly boat onto the shore; the nine friends (and Merry) quickly ran to the doors of the castle to avoid the rain that had started to pour when they were still on their way across the lake.

The doors opened slowly, the new students getting even more wet, until the heavy, extremely slow doors touched the side of the castle.

The students ran inside.

"I'm soaked to the bone!"

"I'm gonna die of hypothermia!"

"I want my blankie!"

And other cries reached the ceiling as the students tried to, very unsuccessfully, dry off.

The nine friends (and Merry) looked around; it was even bigger than in the movies; or even their imaginations.

"Whoa." Maureen whispered as she revolved around in a circle, trying to see the ceiling.

It was so far up, that she could just barely make out where the ceiling was.

"Students," McGonagall called to attention, "Welcome to Hogwarts."

Before she could delve into her yearly speech, Stacey ran up and gave her big hug.

"Excuse me young lady, but we really must continue with the sorting."

She didn't let go.

Minerva tried to push her off.

Sighing impatiently, she remarked, "We really don't have time for this, we are on a tight schedule."

Stacey let go.

She was beaming like a spotlight again, "It's so good to meet you!" She held out her hand, "I'm Stacey."

With an impatient look, Minerva shook it.

Maureen stepped up, "I'm Maureen."

"I'm Jenny."

"I'm Kathryn."

"I'm Isabel."

"Merry."

"Kimmie."

"Jessica."

"Morgan."

"And I am Bradley, the bravest of us all!" She said, punching a fist in the air.

Minerva could only nod at the strangeness of the group, and then opened the doors to the Great Hall.

Once again, no describing could do it justice.

The students looked up at the enchanted ceiling with awe; trying not to trip as they walked forward while staring upward.

They stopped at the stairs where a stool was waiting, with a hat perched on top.

All trying to ignore the hundreds of pairs of eyes watching them, they waited as Dumbledore rose.

"Welcome to another year at Hogwarts! I am quite hungry after the journey so I shall make this as short as possible so that we can get on with the sorting. Do not do anything that is dangerous and you shall live." Sitting down, he nodded to McGonagall.

Several students snickered. He must have been really hungry.

Blinking several times before getting it together, McGonagall opened her list of names.

"Aberkurky, Allen."

After quite a few annoyingly strange names, only the ten friends were left.

And, like any other story with mary-sues, they were sorted into the same year as Harry, Ron, and Hermione; fifth.

After taking almost unnecessary time in explaining their situation, McGonagall called them up one by one.

(a/n: for fear of evil persons/places/and things, I am only going to say our first names)

"Jessica."

Walking with a bounce in her step, Jessica happily bounced onto the stool.

_Why, hello there._

**Hello, Mr. Hat.**

_Hmm. I see you like nature._

**Yes, they are my friends. Will you be my friend too, Mr. hat?**

_Why, yes! I will gladly be your friend._

**Yay!**

(real Jessica: I wouldn't do that! –throws popcorn at me-)

(a/n: yes, yes. I know, just go with it!)

"HUFFLEPUFF!" The hat shouted as the Hufflepuff table exploded with cheers.

Jessica sat next to Justin Finch-Fletchy.

"Bradley!"

Bradley beamed and got equally happy smiles from her friends as she sat down on the chair.

_Hmm. Very interesting mind. Very interesting._

**Thank you.**

…_you're welcome._

**Just put me in Gryffindor, I know I'm a Gryffindor; the stars said so!**

…_.hmm….yes….yes I believe you will do well in …. _

"GRYFFINDOR!"

The Gryffindor table erupted in plaudits, welcoming the new lion.

Bradley beamed as she skipped to the seat next to Ron, which was occupied.

"Ouch!" Hermione squeaked as she was pushed further down the bench.

Ignoring Hermione, Bradley started making conversation with Ron about Quidditch, which she knew that he would go into fine detail; therefore, he would be talking to her for the whole dinner.

Smiling at her friends antics, Stacey almost didn't hear her name being called.

She ran to the stool, and the hat was placed on her head.

_Hmmm. Another interesting mind._

**Yes, yes. I know. Listen, I have a proposition for you.**

_Eh? Whatever it is, it shan't work; you cannot bribe me._

**Oh really? Is it lonely in Dumbledore's office?**

_Well, no not really._

**Surely? Wouldn't you like some….female company?**

_What?_

**I have a beautiful little French hat that I think you would like.**

…_hmm….(sigh) very well. Which house?_

**Slytherin.**

_Slytherin? Whatever for, my child?_

**I have my reasons.**

"SLYTHERIN!"

No one moved, or made a sound (other than quite a few stifled gasps). The Slytherins all looked fit to kill. A muggle was just sorted into their untarnished house.

Skipping to the end of the Slytherin table, Stacey pretended (or just didn't) see the gaping mouths or steel glares.

Quite content, Stacey plopped at the end of the table. The Slytherins all scooted away, like she was diseased. She didn't stop smiling.

Kathryn shook her head, how had she done it?

Stacey just waved at her happily.

After getting over her shock, and almost smiling, Minerva said, "Kathryn."

Kathryn sat in the seat.

_Hmm….not as insane as your sister…that's good…very good….just be sure that she keeps her promise to me._

**What promise?**

_I'm sure she'll tell you._

**Ok.**

_Hmm. It seems you are too old. _

**Can't I have a job or something?**

_You will have to take it up with the headmaster._

"OVERAGE." The hat said as Kathryn sat at the end of the teachers table, at the request of Dumbledore.

After the rest of them were sorted, and Merry (since he wasn't even human) was asked to work in the kitchens, this was where they were all sorted:

Hufflepuff: Maureen and Jennifer

Ravenclaw: Isabel and Kimmie

Gryffindor: Jenny, Bradley, and Morgan

Slytherin: Stacey

They then all walked to their appointed dorm rooms, led by the Prefects of each house.

(a/n: from now on I shall split the story up into parts, each part for the group (or onesie) sorted into a certain house; I shall tell you which group the perspective is following)

**Gryffindor:**

Jenny, Bradley (who finally had been steered away from Ron by an angry Hermione), and Morgan (who also had been ogling Ron) were following the Gryffindor head of house to the common room.

They were all excited and were filled with jitters of expectation.

Would the Gryffindor common room be anything like in the movies?

They didn't think so. Rowling must have made it much more majestic than any of the directors had portrayed it.

They were right.

Unlike the size of Hogwarts, the Gryffindor common room wasn't much different.

It was noticeably bigger though, and had very comfy looking couches and chairs. The wallpaper, carpets, and rugs looked pretty much the same.

"You may all go to your dorm rooms now; you will find your belongings at the foot of your appointed beds. Goodnight." Said the Gryffindor Prefect (bangs head with a mallet I can't believe I forgot who it was that year! Was it Hermione?).

The three girls ran up the steps eagerly, wanting to jump on their new beds.

They reached the room at the same time and almost all went through the doorway at one time, but somehow the door stretched so that they didn't get stuck.

Giving each other mischievous glances, they all jumped on a bed (for they didn't know whose was whose) and started a long pillow fight.

It ended when they all noticed that a trunk was at the front of every bed.

"This must be the wrong dorm. We didn't have any belongings." Said Bradley as she got down on her knees to look at one of the labels on the trunk.

"If it's the wrong dorm, I'm not going to be the one explaining the ripped pillows." Said Jenny as she blew a feather away from her face.

The pillow fight had turned into a war, the pillows had snagged on bedposts and the floor was littered with fluffy white feathers.

Then, Bradley gasped.

"What?" Morgan and Jenny asked, wondering what had made her surprised.

Bradley had just read the name on the trunk, "It…it…"

"What is it?" Morgan and Jenny asked impatiently.

Bradley pointed to the trunk, "It has your name on it Jenny."

Jenny looked confused, "What? Why would it-" She read the name on the trunk, it indeed had her name on it.

"This is too weird." Remarked Morgan, who had found her name on the trunk close to Jenny's.

Bradley then found her trunk. All three girls had trunks at the foot of their beds.

"Should we open them?" Asked Morgan, uncertain.

Bradley shrugged. "I don't see why not. They do have our names on them."

On three, they all lifted the lids of their trunks.

They had school supplies: parchments, quills, caldrons, books; and Hogwarts robes, and new bathroom supplies, and…what was this?

Jenny had a cage on top.

She jumped up, the cage in tow.

"It's my rats! How did they get here?" She asked, hugging the cage.

Morgan sniffed, "You have rats?" She was thinking of the common sewer rat; then she saw them.

"Aw!" She cooed, "That one is so cute!" She pointed to Syrus.

Jenny beamed, "I know! He's my favorite."

"Cute rats! What are their names?" Bradley asked as she watched the two rats sniffing about their cage, they had been in there for awhile.

"This one is Syrus, and that one is Moody." Jenny said, pointing to the appropriate rat.

"Why do you call that one Moody? Like, Mad-eye Moody?" Bradley asked.

"Yeah, Stacey thought of the name. His left eye glows red sometimes." Jenny explained.

Morgan looked at her watch…which could work…somehow….

"Hey, we have to go down to the kitchens to meet the others. Isabel and Kimmie wanted to check on Merry." She said as she headed to the door.

"Wait! Do you think we should wear our robes?" Bradley asked, taking her Gryffindor robe from out of her trunk.

"Oh yeah, we probably should." Morgan said, as she walked over to her trunk.

After they had all changed into their robes, that fit perfectly, they headed out the door to the kitchens.

Jenny waved goodbye to her rats, as she shut the door.

"Whew. Finally out of that trunk. Who put us in there anyway?" Asked a mysterious voice.

"I have no clue. Hey, wanna sneak out of this cage and get something to eat? I'm starved." Said another voice.

"Absolutely! I'm famished." Answered the voice from before.

Five minutes later, the things that the voices belonged to escaped and scuttled to the door.

"Uh oh. How are we going to get this open?" Asked the timid first voice.

"Hang on." The second voice said confidently; he then morphed.

"Hey! You're not supposed to-"

"Yeah I know, but we have to get the door open." Said the second voice, but it was different, less squeaky.

He changed back after opening the door.

"You could have gotten caught!" Said the timid one.

"Shh. Let's just go get something to eat."

They then scurried down the steps and across the common room.

Someone screamed, "RATS ARE IN THE COMMON ROOM!"

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Tehe! Jennie's rats are animangi! What ever shall happen next?

Snape: I don't believe I wish to know.

Me: yes you do.

Snape: No, I don't.

Me: Yes.

Snape: No.

Me: Yes!

Snape: NO!

Me: YES!

Snape: NO!

Me: YES!

Snape: NO!

Me: CHEESE!

Snape: N- uh...What?

Me: tehe. CHEESE WINS! Review and you shall please the cheese.


	4. Hallway Antics & A Very Strange Meeting

Hello there. I am sorry to say that my brain is dead. The funeral shall be held next month under the big, big, big, big oak tree that is on the cover of Big Fish. (a/n: I love that movie! (glomps Ewan McGreggor)) It is because of the greatly feared prison commonly known as school. (shudder)

But never fear! For the lack of brain activity inside my cranium has sparked a fire of insanity and has given me inspiration to write another chapter after this one.

(loud plaudits)

Thank you! Thank you! (bows)

Disclaimer: I shall proclaim my disclaim in the form of a catchy song:

is playing on the guitar (a/n: of which, I have no more talent than a squid, oh and this is to the tune of 'I went walkin' after midnight' and I have no clue who sang it but it was on an episode of Lost)

Oh, I own nothin'.

After midnight.

Or durin' daylight.

Cause I can't come up with poo.

So I own nothin'.

After midnight.

Or durin' daylight.

So I think that I'll just diiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeee-

rude person: You suck! throws a pencil sharpener

Me: RUN AWAY!

Ahem,on with the next chapter!

(a/n: Syrus is from Yu-gi-oh GX...thought you might want to know in case you wanted to finda picture or something...mmyes...tehe...he's cute. oh! and while I am at it, Moody isn't Alaster Moody, his name isn't even Moody (in his human form). tehe. but I'm not going to tell you his name)

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After avoiding stampeding, frightened girls; the two rats were faced with a problem.

How would they get through the portrait?

Syrus, the timid rat, scratched lightly on her frame.

"Um…excuse me? But we need to get through."

"Yeah! We're hungry and need nourishment. We've been locked up in a cage for forever."

Moody added.

All the fat lady could hear was squeaking.

Because of this, and the screaming girls, the fat lady put two and two together and promptly swung aside and jumped into her neighbor portrait for safety.

"Thank you!" The rats said…er…squeaked, over their shoulders.

They could now scamper to the kitchens without any more near death experiences, or interruptions. It was nighttime and close to curfew.

Getting bored, because walking as arat (at a leisurely pace) was slower than walking as a human; the rats decided that they needed to pass the time somehow.

"Hey Syrus?" Moody asked as they started down the first stairwell.

"Yes? Oof!" Syrus said as he fell onto the second step.

It wasn't too easy when you are a small rodent.

"What should we do to pass the time?"

"Hmm. Well- oof! We could um- ow -sing a song I guess. Ouch!" Syrus said as he tripped down three stairs.

He wasn't too good with the balance thing.

Moody did a little jump, nearly went over the railing, caught his balance and started to sing in an impression of Frank Sinatra:

"I'm a spy…in the….house of loooo-ove…"

"GAH! Anything but that. Jaden used to annoy me so much with that song." Syrus said as he successfully, and safely, crawled down to the next stair.

Moody shrugged, jumped down to the next stair, stood up on his wobbly rat legs, and did a fine impression of Elvis, dancing and all:

"You ain't nothin' but a hound…dawga-"

Syrus cowered into fetal position and covered his ears.

That was the song Chumley would sing topester him, but he never sang the whole thing. He always had to go find a grilled cheese before he could finish.

Moody sighed, chuckled, and suggested, "I take it you should pick the song?"

Syrus uncurled from his position and nodded.

"Good idea. Hmm…but what song?"

He then did a short, little jump, "I've got it!"

Syrus then started to skip down the stairs, slowly and carefully, as he sang:

"A fair is a fair of smorgasbord! Smorgasbord! Smorgasbooooord! A fair is in what I delight!"

The two rats continued their long trek down the stairs and hallways, singing Templeton's song from Charlotte's Web.

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Intern (Kathryn's POV)

After dinner was done and everyone was sorted, Kathryn followed Dumbledore into a private teachers' lounge for a conference as to where she should work.

The teachers were all there, including the unimportant ones that aren't even mentioned in the books. There was a long table in the middle of the large room and every chair was filled.

Dumbledore, who was sitting at the head of the table (naturally), called everyone to attention by raising his hands.

Everyone silenced.

Kathryn was impressed by the immediate response.

"We have called this meeting to discuss an unusual case." Dumbledore started.

Kathryn did not take kindly to be called an unusual case, it made her think of retarded people, but she let it slide. It wouldn't be good to interrupt Dumbledore, plus, he was pretty cool.

He had a sparkly beard.

She didn't know why it was sparkly, but it was. She stared at it for almost all of the meeting until someone called her name.

"Eh? What?" She said, finally looking up from the sparkly beard.

Dumbledore chuckled, and said, "I believe that you shall be an intern, we shall further discuss this with the heads of house."

He motioned for the rest to leave.

After they had left, the only ones in the room were: McGonagall, Flitwick, Sprout, Snape, Dumbledore, and Kathryn.

She cringed at the possibility of working with Snape. He looked like a vulture. (a/n:he doesn't look likethe sexy Alan Rickman)

"Now then, who needs some extra help?" Dumbledore asked as his eyes held that usual twinkle.

It made Kathryn start to sing Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star in her head.

Preoccupied with her song, Kathryn did not notice when the teachers started to exclude Snape and whisper to one another.

Unfortunately for him, all the people in the room had all learned Occlumency; so his Legitimacy didn't do him any good.

Except get that stupid song stuck in his head, he had taken a visit to Kathryn's mind.

He found her to be very odd. He couldn't look at any of her memories or anything, he could just hear that stupid muggle song.

Dumbledore nodded to the others, "Very well. Severus? Your services are no longer needed, you may return to the Dungeons."

Kathryn snorted, it just sounded funny.

Snape gave her a look, then got up and started to head to the door.

But he was stopped by Kathryn tapping his elbow.

He stopped and half-turned.

Kathryn said, "There is something that you must know."

Snape gave Dumbledore a questioning look, Dumbledore just shrugged; but he was smiling and his eyes were twinkling overtime.

She continued in a hick accent, "Santa ain't black. He ain't white either. He's a dawg."

Snape just stared.

The other teachers stared.

Dumbledore just clapped his hands together and said; "Well now Severus, you may go to your rooms. We still have business here." His eyes were still twinkling like mad.

Very eager to leave the room, Snape quickly walked to the door and started heading down the stairs.

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Hoorah! Did you enjoy it? Did it make you laugh at poor Snape's possible predicament? ooh. I'm a regular Dr. Seuss. tehe. Yay me!

Snape: I hate you.

Me: And I'm supposed to care...Why?

Snape: Well I nev-

Me: Read on dear readers! And if you are prompted by the magical, mystical, marvelous elves that live in your head...please review...that is all.

Snape: No it's not! I want my dignity back.

Me: Tough.


	5. Talking With The Very Sexy Draco

Here is the fifth chapter! I feel like this story is getting too much of a plot, so the next chapter will be much like the first. In other words, insane babble...gabble...gobble...tehe. gobble is a fun word. Ahem, anyway. To aviod the possibility that you think I'm high, I'll just get on with the routine.

Disclaimer: The magical wonder commonly known as Harry Potter was written by none other than J. K. Rowling. Not I. But if I did write it...I wouldn't be me...and that would be a tragedy. For I am an essential asset to this Earth. I keep us in orbit.

It's true.

FEAR MY MIGHTY POWERS!

ok, I think I need to make a new appointement with my thearopist. I have self-worth issues.

Not really, but- GAH! Why am I still writing?

Read on!

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**In the Slytherin Common Room:**

None of the Slytherins showed any inclination that Stacey was there, but she was okay with that. She was in the one place that she would die to be.

"Hi! Hello there, merry sunshine!" Stacey greeted the Slytherins with waves, they all gave her their best sneers and turned back to what they were doing.

Draco pointed to the stairs.

"Those are the boys' dormitories," He pointed to the other stairs, "and those are the girls. Now get out of my sight." He said as he walked over to the fireplace and sat on the couch.

The first years dispersed, going to do whatever popped into their cunning Slytherin minds.

Stacey looked up to the Slytherin girls' dorms, and then shrugged. She had nothing to unpack anyway.

Finding it to be cold, and the fact that the sexiest Slytherin was on the couch, Stacey plopped down next to Draco in front of the fire.

He moved as far away as possible; then enlarged to couch so that he could scoot farther away, for fear of getting some muggle disease.

Ignoring the fact that he was three yards away, Stacey decided to strike up a conversation.

"So, chocolate or vanilla?"

He gave her a glare, and turned his head to look back at the fire.

Stacey shrugged to herself, and answered her own question.

"I don't think that I could choose between them. It's just too difficult."

She stole a glance at him out of the corner of her eye.

He hadn't moved, he was just staring at the fire.

She shrugged again; talking to her self wasn't anything new.

"I rather like Cosmopolitan really, because not only do you get chocolate and vanilla, but also strawberry. I don't really like strawberry, but now and again it's a fine alternative if you don't feel like eating vanilla. You can never replace chocolate with anything because…well, it's chocolate. The best thing since sliced bread and pop tarts! You know?" She turned back to him.

He was just staring at the fire…

She sighed impatiently, looked around the room, and looked back at Draco.

Why is he still staring at the stupid fire!

Then, she burst out laughing, causing all the Slytherins in the common room to give her death-glares; including Draco.

"Do you mind?" He hissed with his sexy glare.

Stacey wiped tears of mirth from her eyes.

"Mind what?" She asked, still grinning.

He rolled his sexy (a/n: this is going to be an overused adjective) grey-blue eyes.

"Mind shutting up?"

He answered, still glaring.

She shrugged and picked at her coat sleeve, then started chuckling after remembering what she was laughing at.

Draco sighed and rolled his eyes, "What were you laughing at anyway?" He asked, his voice dripping with impatience; hoping to get her to stop chuckling.

It was annoying.

She turned to him and sat on one of her legs so that she was sitting sideways, grinning and trying not to stop chuckling.

"I was thinking….(snort) of….(giggle giggle) …..HAHAHAHAHAHAAAA! ahahaa….aaah..boy…….aha…….oh, yes. I was laughing at the reason my mind came up with as to why you were staring at the fire."

Draco just sneered and turned back to the fire.

This started up a new fit of giggles from Stacey.

He rolled his eyes, and due to curiosity, he asked, "And what reason would that be?"

His voice was still impatient, and he obviously didn't want to be talking right now.

Stacey bit her lip, to try and not have another burst of laughter, and then sat to where she was facing the fire again.

"Because you're a pyro…(giggle giggle)"

He gave her a trademark glare and asked with, just barely, a hint of curiosity,

"What's a pyro?"

She turned to him with wide eyes and a gaping mouth.

"You don't….(snort) you don't know what a pyro is?" She slapped her hand to her mouth, this was just too funny.

Draco narrowed his eyes.

"It's probably not even a real word," He sneered, "Now, stop laughing at me! You filthy Mudblood."

He turned back to the fire in a huff. This muggle was starting to get on his nerves.

Stacey composed her self and turned back to Draco.

"I'm sorry. It's a muggle term. I shouldn't have laughed at you."

She said, trying to sound as sincere as possible. Life would be unlivable if Draco wouldn't even talk to her.

He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, but said nothing.

She caught the glance and took it as forgiveness.

"Hey sexy, what time is it?"

Stacey asked, remembering that she was to meet her friends (and Merry) in the kitchens.

Draco turned to look at her incredulously, and, with his trademark smirk, asked, "Did you just call me sexy?"

Getting up, Stacey shrugged and said, "It is one of your more aspiring qualities. Now, the time?"

He rolled his eyes and pointed to a wizard clock on the wall, it was shaped like a serpent.

Nodding at the coolio clock, Stacey said, "Sweet clock."

"Oh no! I'm going to be late!"

She said as she ran to the door.

"Later, sexy!" She called over her shoulder with a wink as she went out the door.

After she had left, Pansy sat next to Draco and tugged on his arm.

"You don't like that Mudblood, do you Dracy-poo?" She whined, spitting out the word Mudblood.

Draco gave her a cold glare, "I don't like **any** Mudbloods, and I **especially** don't like her."

He turned back to the fire.

Pansy smirked smugly.

Although Draco wouldn't admit it, he did like being called sexy.

Wait! No. NO! He **did not** like the filthy Slytherin Mudblood.

But that was not the case, for Draco was being affected by the terrible and unstoppable curse of the Mary-Sue.

Lightning struck across the sky, and the Slytherins could hear the booming thunder.

"Unusual weather." Flint remarked as he continued to **not** floss his teeth.

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haha. I couldn't help making fun of Flint. I hate his teeth.

Flint: Why?

Me: ...

Flint: What?

Me: ...

Snape: What is going on here?

Me: He just asked why I hated his teeth. (points to Flint)

Snape: ...

Me: Yeah.

Flint: What!

Me: Reviews will earn moneyfor Flint's first dentist appointment.

Flint: Hey!


	6. The First Meeting & The 'What' Business

Whoo. Celebrate...yeah...wow I am so TIRED. I am about to drop over and die. (drops over and dies)

Ok now. I'm back with the living. I am in a very drabble-ly mood so there should be another chapter shortly following this one.

Disclaimer: Merry is not my character...even though he isn't really mentioned in this chapter but he...um...he is there. I assure you. Oh! and the house elves, who are mentioned, are not mine either...except for maybe the Italian one...

Warning: This chapter uses the word 'what' so much you may question its spelling, I know I did. eha. eahahaha. mwuaha. mwuahaeeeaha. ha. mmyes.

See how tired I am? Perfect for writing, I say. Perfect. If I was this tired every day, I would be a GENIUS!

woah...like...that was total- ok I'm not even going to go there. If I start that imitation who knows when I'll stop.

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**In the kitchens** (a/n: finally. Haha. Right?)

"Hey guys! Are we late?" Maureen asked as she plopped down next to Jenny on the couch.

Jennifer followed Maureen in and sat on the arm of the couch.

"You're both a little late, but it's ok." Morgan said as she checked her watch.

Since everyone was now there, the 'meeting' could commence.

"Alrighty then. On my way down from the delightful Gryffindor common room, I had an epiphany. We should meet in the kitchens every Wednesday or something so we can talk to one another. I mean," Bradley paused to shrug, "We are all in different houses."

"Heaw heaw!" (translation: hear hear) Maureen said through her mouthful of chocolate-chip cookie.

Everyone's head snapped in her direction.

"Where'd you get that?" Jennifer asked, never taking her eyes off the cookie.

Maureen stopped eating it and looked around at everyone; they all were eyeing her cookie predatorily.

Before anyone could pounce, Maureen quickly stuffed the rest of it in her mouth.

Shoulders slumped.

Belatedly answering the previous question, Maureen pointed to one of the many house elves that were bustling around.

Jennifer grabbed the nearest house elf and yelled insanely, "I need a cookie! COOKIE!"

POP!

Faster than you can say snickerdoodlepoodlewizfizzyfuzzywuzzy, the house elf popped away to the kitchens.

Everyone didn't seem to have noticed what just happened.

Kathryn raised her hand, "Ooh! I have an idea. We can meet every day and have a sort of study group."

"Sounds good to me. Uh…should we have a name?" Jenny asked.

Stacey jumped up and down. "OOH! OOH! I vote Dead Poet's Society!"

Insert cricket ambiance.

Can you not imagine it for yourself?

(sigh) Very well.

…

_cricket_

…

_cricket_

…

_cricket_

…

_cricket_

…

_cricket_

…

_cricket_

…

"What?"

It was then that the poor house elf that had beenshaken (a/n: i...think...that's a word...shaken?shooken? oh bother)by Jennifer popped back and set a plate of cookies on the table.

He was almost too late popping back to the kitchens when everyone launched themselves to the plate.

The cookies were savagely devoured in precisely 8.99916 seconds.

Racer announcer: oh yes! Oh yes! Oh yes! Precisely 8.99916 seconds, folks! 8.99916 secoooooooooooooooooonndsss!

(tv channel turns)

Damsel: Leave me alone Johnny. (dramatic gasp) I-I-I can't be with you.

Hearthrob Johny: How could I? (grabs her shoulders in passionate embrace) I've always loved ya Margaret. Always!

Damsle (recently proclaimed Maraget): Oooh Johnny! (passionate kiss)

(tv channel turns)

(woman screams)

(tv channel turns)

Jennifer has the remote and sets it on the table.

"What did you change the channel for?" Maureen asked as she took out the batteries.

Jennifer shrugged and said, "I thought we were getting boring."

"Pssh."

"Nonsense."

"We are NOT boring!"

"I take offense to that."

"Can we stop now? I gotta pee."

"Are you saying I'm fat?"

"QUIET! QUIET! QUIET! SILENCIO! Mama mia. " Said a passing Italian house elf.

After getting over the…strange….definite that there are house elves of various cultures, everyone proceeded with business.

Not knowing what the business was, everyone became bored.

(9 collective sighs)

"so…"

"Yes."

"Yes 'what'?"

"What, 'what'?"

"Yes, what."

"Yes, what?"

"That's what you said, 'yes what'."

"What, yes what?"

"What?"

"You said 'what' first."

"No, you said 'yes what' first."

"what?"

"WILL YOU TWO STOP IT! Your hurting my brain!" Jenny said while holding her head.

"What?" Bradley and Stacey both asked at the same time.

"GAH! That's it! I'm going to bed. This is a waste of my time and I'm tired." Jenny said as she got off the couch and grabbed a pastry off the tray of a passing house elf.

"Well, we still haven't established what you meant."

"What do you mean, 'what I meant'? What did you mean?"

"Well, you were the one who said 'what' first!"

"What? No I didn't, you said 'yes what' first."

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Betcha couldn't keep that 'what' business straight. EvenI couldn't when I wrote it.

Cherio. Review an' all that, wot. Toodly pip.


	7. Stalking Some Rats & Party Discussion

Here is a new chapter you poor persons. I have been so devoid of any desire to write lately, but I should be writing new chapters every week since my 'plot' ehe..ideas are all gathered now.

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While walking back to the Gryffindor common room, Jenny could have sworn she heard something.

"Huh….I could have sworn I heard something…" She said as she peered around the corner.

"Nonsense, this is ridiculous. Why are we doing this again?" Asked a timid voice.

"SSSHHH! Quiet, we can't have anyone see us." Replied another voice, "Plus….IT IS NOT RIDICULOUS! This is life. This is what we do." He added.

The timid one sighed and said, "Some life."

The figures passed by the dark hallway that Jenny was hiding in.

She had to hold a hand to her mouth to keep from gasping.

They scuttled past.

"I really don't see why we're-"

"SSSHHHH! Well, that's why I'm me and you're you. Isn't it?"

"Wait, what? That doesn't make sense."

The voices faded as they finally turned the corner.

Jenny started breathing again and then squealed so loud that a nearby mirror cracked.

"Darn…seven more years of bad luck."

Jumping up and down, Jenny turned back and forth toward the kitchen and toward the direction that the rats went.

What should she do?

Go tell the others or see what her rats were doing?

Too easy.

She catapulted in the direction that the rats went.

While those three are walking up the many many many many steps to the very tippy-top of Hogwarts, I shall tell you a short story to pass the time.

I mean, you don't want me to narrate them walking up stairs for almost countless hours, do you?

Of course not.

So, here is a story about Severus Snape.

Severus- What?

Severus Snape was never a happy child.

Severus- Why are you doing this?

He never had any friends to play with and nothing to do.

Severus- What? I had friends.

Really? Did you _really_?

Severus- Yes. Yes I did.

I don't think so, Severus. You never had any friends because you always stayed locked up in your library pouring over potions books because that was the only thing that you were good at.

Severus- That's not true! I was a very good student and made top grades.

Poor, poor Severus. Look at how he squirms under our scrutinous gaze.

Severus- I am NOT squirming!

I believe you are.

Severus- Why are you-

Do you play croquet?

Severus- ….What has that got to do with anything?

(grabs a flamingo and a green hamster that bites me)

OUCH!

The hamster is quickly smote.

Severus- That was unnecessary.

I don't think that you have a say in this.

Severus- …

Now, do you want to play croquet or do I have to tell the story of your childhood?

Severus- (sigh) You don't even know my childhood.

I know _everything_.

Severus- ………You scare me……

Thank you.

So, croquet?

Severus- (sigh) Don't you have to get back to narrating the story?

Oh, poop. They've reached the top. (points to Severus menacingly) I _will_ return.

Severus- Oh, I'm shaking in my knickers.

You wear knickers? (goes online to a Severus-fan blog)

Sorry folks, he's not a commando.

Severus-fans- Awwwwww

Non-Severus-fans- EEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWW! BAD IMAGE!

Severus- (goes to hide in his room from stampeding fans wanting him to be a commando)

Okie dokie. Remember leetle cheeldrrrens, nevarrll ask yer parents volt commando ees. Yees.

Alright then, back to my normal accent.

Where were we?

Oh yes, they had just reached their destination.

BUT EVERYTHING SUDDENLY SPONTANIOUSLY COMBUSTED!

And everyone died except the Italian house elf.

The end.

BWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAAAA! AHAHAHAHAA! AHAHA! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAA! AHA! AAHAHAHAHAAAA! AHAHA- (is shot)

Hello, I am the new narrator.

Ignore what just happened.

Creeping up the last stair and trying not to pant too loud, Jenny peered around the corner.

Her rats were setting up for some sort of party.

"Here, put this up there….dang this is hard when you're a rat…" Muttered the rat that she recognized as Moody.

"Then why don't we just change?" Asked the timid one she recognized as Syrus.

Moody sighed, "Because smart-one, someone might see us."

"All the way up here? No one even comes up here." Syrus said as he lifted up to tape part of a banner on the wall.

It was becoming increasingly difficult for Jenny not to laugh. Her rat's voices were so funny!

They sounded all squeaky.

With a hilarious squeak, Syrus very nearly lost his balance on the ladder.

"That's it! I am not going to die from falling off a ladder." And then he turned into the human Syrus.

Jenny's eyes got wide.

She had to stuff her fist in her mouth to stop from squealing/gasping/or any other noise that she might have made otherwise.

Moody rolled his eyes and changed as well.

Jenny was hyperventilating.

"Geez, what if someone sees us now, genius?" Zuko remarked as he taped up his side of the banner.

Syrus just shrugged.

"It's better than dieing."

It now being physically impossible to breath, Jenny silently crawled back down the stairs and dashed into an old classroom.

Now being able to breathe, and cough because of the dust, she started jumping up and down again.

That wasn't very smart.

The floor collapsed.

"This isn't my daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy!" Jenny yelled as she fell through the floor and into some sort of chute.

Panting, and sliding quickly down the narrow chute, Jenny remarked "Well, this isn't so bad."

It was then that a pair of underwear fell on her head.

"Ew…ew…ew…ew…ew…ew…ew…ew…ew…ew…ew…ewwwwwwww" Jenny chanted as she picked the underwear off her head and threw it below her, it was now falling faster than she was so she didn't have to worry about it anymore.

"Huh…this is much better than walking down all those stairs." She said, and then a blur of colors was the only thing in her vision as she felt herself dropping off the chute and into something soft.

She lifted her head.

"GROSS! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!" She screamed as she jumped out of the giant pile of dirty clothes.

"I don't think that that was a slide, Jenny." Jennifer remarked from the couch.

A house elf picked a dirty sock from off of Jenny's shoulder and wheeled the cart away with the help of seven other house elves.

She was back in the kitchen.

Then everything came back to her in a rush.

"MYRATSAREANIMAGIANDGUESSWHOTHEYARETHEYARESYRUSTHEREALSYRUSANDMOODYISZUKOTHEREALZUKOANDITSJUSTSOCOOLITHINKIMGONNADIE!" She yelled.

Then collapsed on the empty chair and tried to catch her breath.

Taking a moment to let it soak in, Stacey gasped as well and started jumping up and down.

"SYRUS AND ZUKO! SYRUS AND ZUKO! SYRUS AND ZUKO!" She chanted in a sing-song voice, soon joined in by Jenny.

They paraded around the room, skipping and quickly losing their breath.

Kathryn grabbed their shoulders and pushed them down on the couch.

"Get a grip! Goodness, you're both going to kill yourselves. BREATH!" She yelled as they both giggled and started to catch their breath.

The others put down their tea or other beverage and focused on the hyperventilating two.

"Now, explain what you were so hyped up about." Kathryn said when they had caught their breath.

"Yeah, who is Zuko and Syrus?" Maureen asked.

"Yes, who are they?" Morgan added.

"Wait, did I hear you say animangi?" Bradley remarked.

Jenny nodded, "My rats! My rats are Zuko and Syrus!"

Kathryn's eyes got big with understanding.

Everyone else was clueless.

"Zuko? Fire bender from the Nickelodeon show Avatar the Last Airbender?" Stacey asked, trying to explain who they were.

"And Syrus, adorable blue-haired boy from Yu-gi-oh GX?" Jenny added.

"oh!" Chorused around the room.

"THEY'RE YOUR RATS!"

Jenny beamed and nodded.

Hey! Why don't we go crash their party?" Suggested Maureen after Jenny explained what she saw.

"Maybe they'll have food!"

"I like food."

"Me too."

"I like cheese."

"Yes. Cheese is good."

"I vote we go!"

"I vote cheese!"

"Yes! Let's all go."

Jenny shrugged, a party might be fun.

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Hope you liked this chappy.


	8. The Party

Yay! Two chapters in one week. I feel so proud of myself.

Disclaimer: Where has all the nothing gone? Why, it's in myorigional...things... box. None of the owls mentioned in this chapter are mine...or the house elves...aaaaand...yes, I believe that is all that I mention in this chapter. oh! And the Hogwarts stairs.

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"Cheese, cheese, cheese! Everybody's gotta love cheese! Get's yer noodle a-goin'." Sang Stacey and Bradley as they all tracked up the seemingly endless stairwell.

"You can't sing that!" Snapped Morgan as she pulled on the words from the previous paragraph.

Stacey and Bradley shrugged, "Why not?"

Morgan rolled her eyes as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, "Because you already sang that! It's against the rules."

"What rules?" Everyone chorused.

Morgan looked skeptical, "The rules in the Books of Everything!"

Everyone gasped, how could they have possibly forgotten?

Taking a detour to Asmallcityinaplacethatnooneknowsaboutandcannotpronounce, where they paid tribute to the almighty Books of Everything in their high, golden thrones of ultimate power.

"Forgive us almighty Books of Everything."

"We are but humble crumbs in your mighty soup."

"We are but tiny fleas in your ultimate universe."

"Please do not punish us oh great ones, our brains are tiny and crave your ultimate knowledge."

"Do not starve us of your mighty rules of powerfulness!"

The books of everything-

Book of Everything Vol. 4- Ahem.

OH! So sorry, almighty one.

The Books of Everything contemplated their plea, stroking their powerful chins of power with their invisible stick arms of invisibleness.

"Yes, we shall not shun you. Now go away so that we may watch Dragon Tales." The Book of Everything Vol. 1 said in his powerful, echoing voice of mightiness.

The nine bowed out, and returned to the stairwell in exactly 3 seconds.

"Um…how come we could go to a foreign country that no one knows about in three seconds and we can't even climb visibly endless stairs in ten hours?" Jennifer asked as they all climbed the eleventy-eleventh staircase.

All that she got was a shrug, because that is all that I am going to let them do; because I am the narrator and I am in charge of these things.

SO DON'T QUESTION ME!

"uh…"

"Who was questioning?"

"Yeah, what's your problem?"

I have no problem. (twitch)

"AHA!" Bradley screamed as she points.

What? Whatja- I didn't flinch…eheh…yeah I- I didn't ….What are you implying?

"AHA!" They all now say.

I have all the power, you know. I can kill all of you off.

"NO! Don't do that…we'll….we'll be good."

"Yes, like little lambs."

"DON'T SPEAR ME!"

"I AM TOO YOUNG TO DIE!"

Alright, alright. Geez. I won't kill you all.

"Phew."

"Good."

"I like cheese."

Alright, now that that is over with.

Ahem, since that was going on the 9 friends found themselves at the top of the stairs.

"Huh, well that was easy." Kimmie said as they all started to take in their surroundings.

"Ssssshhh!" Kathryn shushed as she heard the dull pounding of music.

As quietly as they could, they all crept toward the door and somehow all peered in.

It was a perfectly normal party, except for the fact that all of them were animals, there was music, decorations, food, and everyone was either dancing or eating.

"Oh yum. Food." Maureen said as she spied the table.

"OOH YAY! I love party food." Added Jennifer as they both stepped into the room and made a beeline for the food table.

None of the animals noticed, most of the ones dancing were rats and occasionally there was an owl bobbing its head to the music.

They were guessed to either be friendly or vegan.

Shrugging, the other friends came into the room.

Since two of them were already over at the food table, the rest joined them.

Then the song changed.

Stacey and Bradley turned to each other with a mischievous look as they quickly recognized the song.

Kathryn slapped a hand to her forehead.

As if she hasn't overheard this song at least a thousand times.

_I was once a boogy singer-er_

_Playin' in a rockin' roll ba-aand!_

After Stacey, Bradley, and Maureen started dancing Kimmie, Morgan and Jennifer joined in.

Shaking their heads, Isabel, Jenny and Kathryn stayed by the food cart.

They had some really good punch.

There were three different bowls and they were sure not to touch the ones with curious odors.

After the song finished one of Jenny's rats (which she and several other of the friends recognized as Syrus) walked, obviously drunk, up to the stage and picked up a mini microphone which….somehow….worked…….

"Tzzhank yau awl fo commingga. Ah…ah luvvs yau guyzz an…(hic)…an ah juss wan'ed t' szay dat…(hic) ah…-"

But what was that?

A crash!

"MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!" Yelled a mad voice from the window, which was quickly chorused by several tiny voices behind it.

Syrus squinted at them from the stage, "Whoozzat? Eh? Com't da partay? (hic)"

All eyes turned toward the window, and in it was perched…

CRAZY MANIAC BIRDS!

Dun dun duuuuuunnn

And they had glass eyes that glowed and had x-ray vision.

"MWUAHAHAHA! I have a glass eye and you don't!"

"You don't!" Chorused the blackbirds behind the leader-bird crazy thing.

"And I think it's eating time. Ehehehehehehehe." Chuckled the evil blackbird with the creepy glass eye.

The rats scattered in a panic, but since they were drunk, most ended up in the punch bowl with the mysterious odor.

But wait? What was that strange noise?

Kimmie jumped aside from the spot that she had been currently standing, the ground was coming up.

What was that about?

Before anyone could answer that question themselves, a fuzzy brown head poked out from the hole.

And even more from other holes.

"This ain't the ah'mory." One of the moles remarked.

Jennifer tapped her chin, "Huh…could have sworn I've heard that line somewhere before…."

Kimmie turned to her and just stared.

Jennifer shrugged.

"Two pairsssseeeess." A snake hissed from the corner, "And I ssssshall raissssse you thisssss Evee pokémon cardssseees."

The nine turned to them.

What now?

"Snakes playing poker?" Maureen asked, "What next?"

Conveniently, a ball of bouncing fur found its way into the room and bounced off the walls like a pinball.

Isabel caught it in her hands and found that it was a squirrel.

"Hehe.Ilovecoffecoffeeisgoodandilikeitdoyoulikeitcauseyoushouldbecausecoffeeisgoodandeveryoneshoulddreinkcoffeeeverydayandeveryyearandeveryminuteofeverydayandthereforeeveryyearandthatwouldbegoodforthembecausecoffeeisgoodandilovecoffee.hehe." The squirrel chattered really fast, and then smiled.

Isabel raised an eyebrow.

"Ok, I think that it would be really wise to call it a day." Kathryn said as she quickly turned and hurried out the door.

The others agreed and turned to leave before anything else really weird would happen.

"Hey! Hey, b-but wait!" The insane crow with the glass eye whined, "I haven't even done anything really crazy yet!"

The nine ignored him.

Jenny quickly plucked Moody from the rim of the curious-smelling punch bowl and Syrus from the floor of the stage.

Oh, yeah. That was certainly a productive evening.

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Did you enjoy this drabble? I was extremely bored and didn't really know what I was writing most of the time...sooo...yes.


	9. Circle Time & 'Terrifying Flying Things'

Hello dear readers and reviewers. Sorry for the delay. I had a research project and now I have a speech to write. Yippee. Well, I wanted to do something that would provide me with, in my mind, a suitible excuse to shirk writing my speech. So, I give you, a short, chapter nine!

Disclaimer: Except for my friends and I, as far as I am aware, all belongs to J. K. Rowling.

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"Hello everyone!" Stacey says as she waves.

"We thought that this story was focusing too much on some of us while the others were left in the dark." Bradley adds.

"So, we have come up with an idea." Pipes in Morgan.

"Every now and again we are going to interrupt, sort of, the story and have a 'circle time'-" Kathryn was interrupted.

"_Circle time_? What kind of a name is that?" Wailed Jenny, "That sucks!"

"Yeah! I totally agree." Said Jennifer from her chair close to the kitchen's fireplace.

Kimmie, Isabel, and Maureen nod their heads in agreement.

Kathryn sighs impatiently, "Then what should we call it?"

Most everyone look to the floor in thought.

What could they call it?

"What about we leave it undecided and get the reviewers ideas?" Suggested Isabel, thinking ahead about how much time this conversation could take up.

Everyone nodded; it would have ended up undecided anyway.

"This is boring. I'm bored. Why is this story still going on anyway?" Stacey asked as she pouted on the couch.

Kathryn shoved her and gave her a poke.

"Stop being a baby! You know very well why this story is still going on, we need to do something so that we can go home. We came here on purpose." Kathryn reasoned.

Kimmie nodded in understanding, they had to be there on purpose. Why else would they have suddenly appeared there?

Somewhere on a dark and sinester mountain, covered with dark and sinester clouds that cracked and rumbled with dark and sinester thunder, a plot's laughter rumbled across the hills, over the river, and through the woods to Hogwarts castle (a/n: we go! tehe. ahem, yes moving on).

The torches flickered in the kitchens, a harsh wind whipped and battered at the windows.

Stacey had started biting her nails, a nervous habit.

Kathryn was absolutely still, clutching her knees and trying not to make her teeth chatter.

Maureen was sipping on her tea calmly.

Isabel remarked, "Hm. Looks like a storm."

Jenny picked at the couch while glancing nervously at the door to the kitchens, expecting a tall guy with dark and indiscernible features in a trench coat to come in and hack them all to pieces with a rusty knife-spoon.

Gollum- What's knife-spoon, precious? What's knife-spoon, eh?

"Go away! You aren't supposed to be here. Wingardium leviosa!" Yelled Kathryn as she pointed her finger at Gollum.

He disappeared.

"Huh. That was easy." She remarked as she put her finger away (a/n: she doesn't keep a dismembered finger in her pocket you ninnies.)

Everyone stared at Kathryn with their mouths open in confusion.

"That's a levitating charm you bayou boob!" Stacey yelled.

"Yes! That shouldn't have made him disappear." Isabel stated with a perplexed look.

"And you don't even have a wand!" Jenny added indignantly.

No one else had been able to do magic.

Kimmie shared a shrug with Jennifer and Maureen; this certainly wasn't weird enough to confuse them.

"Hey, did no one else hear that evil cackling earlier?" Jenny asked curiously as she noticed the wind was still battering at the windows and the torch lights were still flickering.

Everyone recalled except for Jennifer and Maureen, they hadn't really noticed it because it wasn't a very significant happening in their minds, heads, and their brains too.

Just then, the door to the kitchens burst open.

The nine gasped.

"OH NO!" Bradley screamed, "My fears have manifested themselves into flesh!"

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP

(annoying newscaster music)

Announcer guy- We interrupt this program to bring you an important announcement. This is urgent. Call your family and loved ones to inform them. This must be spread to all around the world. It is imperative that this be known.

Ok, John? Ready with live footage.

John takes over- Thank you, Tom. We're here live at this dilapidated old building (a/n: Hogwarts, muggles can't see it remember) where just two hours ago these terrifying flying-

Me- I sense a potential cliffie. I think that I shall leave you to wonder…MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!

Annoying announcer at the beginning of every comic-show-thing- What was the rest of John's message to the world? What are the terrifying flying things? Will John be devoured by the flying things a sacrifice for the good of mankind?

John- w-what?

Find out on the next episode of …The Insane World of Harry Potter…Two! (echoes)

(cheesy hero music)

John- Wait! What was that about sacrifice? … Hello? …Is….anyone there? …..hellooo…

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(evil laugh that never ends)

I shall be posting another chappy tomorrow...or maybe tonight. I usually can't stand leaving cliffies hanging for too long.


	10. The Identity of the Flying Things

Hey there curious readers. Here is the next chappy.

Disclaimer: Except for my friends and I, as far as I am aware, everything belongs to J. K. Rowling.

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"MWUAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!" The evil, terrifying, flying things cackled. "Soon, your world and the universe will be under our control! MWUAHAHAHAHA! AHAHA- ag! (cough cough) (hack) –AHAHAHAA! (cough) Aha."

"Wait a second…" Isabel said as she looked the flying things over, "Aren't you supposed to be grey?"

"Uh…well technically yes, but…I mean…Come on that would just be gross." The leader of the flying things said, you could tell he was leader because he had a crown on his…uh…where his head would be.

Want to know what the flying things are?

You & a bunch of random knights- YES ALREADY!

The truth is, they are…

"BRAINS!" Screamed Bradley as she hid behind the couch, crouching while rocking back in forth and holding her head.

The brains started laughing again in triumph.

"Yeeess…yeeess, soon the world will be ours!" Yelled the leader-brain triumphantly, "Commence with the plan!"

The eight, excluding the traumatized Bradley, shared a confused look.

What was their plan to take over the world?

They soon found out.

Not long after the leader brain said this order, the other brains (and himself) started sending out vibrating blue waves that rippled throughout the room.

The waves moved through the walls, down hallways, up and down stairs, into rooms, permeating the castle.

It didn't take long for the whole world to be completely immersed.

The brains sighed tiredly as they lost altitude, only able to hover a few inches above the floor.

"When we get our strength back, fellow brains, we shall drench our hypnotic power all over the universe! MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA! AHAHA! AHAA! AHAHAHAHAAAA! AHA! Ah- (cough) (hack)" Yelled the leader-brain.

The other brains laughed with him in triumph.

"Uh…what was that?" Maureen asked.

The brains immediately stopped laughing.

"What…did…you…say?" The leader-brain asked.

Maureen shrugged, "I just asked what you brain-things did. What was all that blue stuff?"

The brains drew themselves up and started talking to each other loudly.

"How did it not work?"

"Does it not affect those on this planet?"

"Is Dr. Pepper a real doctor?"

"SILENCE!" Yelled the leader-brain, "Huddle-up."

The brains all turned from the nine friends, Bradley had come out from behind the couch, and began to whisper furiously.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH! I WAS FLASHED BY CEREBELUMS!" Screamed Bradley as she returned behind the couch.

Before the eight could even share an incredulous look, the brains turned back from their huddle and the leader-brain proclaimed, "We have decided that you were unaffected by our hypnotic waves of power because you have no brain waves for us to control. Either that or you are not from this dimension. Pssh. Yeah right, that's impossible."

The other brains chuckled.

The nine, Bradley again emerged, shared a look.

"So, we have decided that in order to take over the universe, you have to diiiieeee." The leader-brain said ominously and low, a shadow crossed over his face.

Bradley screamed a scream worthy of a horror movie and held her face in her hands.

It seemed too funny for Maureen, she fell over the couch laughing.

One of the brains turned to her quickly.

"You! Why do you laugh?"

Holding her sides and trying to speak, Maureen answered, "B-because…you…AHA! You're b-brains…and- HAHAHA! You can't pick anything up let alone k-kill us! AHAHAHAHAAA! Plus…the situation is hilarious! AHAHAHAHAHAAA!" She fell back on the couch and continued to laugh.

She immediately stopped laughing as nine knives slowly flew from the kitchen.

"Oh?" Said the leader-brain, the shadow on him and the other brains growing darker and more sinister.

Morgan eeped and rolled under the couch.

A knife pointed at all of their throats (except Morgan).

They had all moved side-by-side in front of the brains.

The brains chuckled ominously as the camera pans from the brains to the eight.

The camera pans to each of their faces, fearful, and then they quickly turned determined.

(Insert upbeat butt-kicking music)

Eyebrows creased, mouths frowned and formed tight lines.

They all nodded to each other as one.

Every other person back-flipped, then the ones left back-flipped as well and landed in front of the first ones; landing on their feet then crouching in a defensive position.

The first back-flippers stood in ninja positions; they all were now in Matrix clothing.

Black pants, white tops, and very cool black sunglasses.

"Bring it on, brains."

Using their telepathy to move the knives, the brains quickly pointed them at the eight and threw them viciously.

The four in the front (Kimmie, Isabel, Jenny, and Jennifer) all easily rolled, in slow motion, out of the way.

The four in the back (Bradley, Stacey, Kathryn, and Maureen) all bent in slow motion to the floor, avoiding the knives, then came right back up.

The knives clunked into the wall, sticking at least four inches in.

The eight struck poses worthy enough to make the Ginyu force impressed (a/n: DBZ reference. Sorry if you don't know who the Ginyu force is).

"We have underestimated you. You shall meet us again when we have gained our full strength, and your demise will come out quite different than today." The leader-brain ended.

The disappeared.

Everyone's clothes had returned to normal.

"Where do you think they went?" Jennifer asked.

Everyone shrugged.

"I think I know!" Said a muffled voice from under the couch.

Morgan crawled out from under the couch, "I bet they went to Jamaica."

"Why do you think that?" Isabel asked, "There a plenty of places that they might want to go. Like Washington, or Paris, or New York."

Morgan shrugged, "Well, since they're so smart, I would think that they would try to not go to a smart place."

"What's that supposed to mean!" Yelled everyone.

"Not that Jamaica's stupid or anything, it's just that that's where Rum is from….geez." Morgan explained.

"Oh..ok then."

Everyone backed off.

"Let's go to Dumbledore's office, we need to tell him about this." Kathryn reasoned as she started to head toward the door.

"Yes! Good idea."

"I forgot about Dumbledore."

"Brilliant! Let's go."

Everyone hurried out the door and started heading toward his office.

Something was amiss.

A few students were meandering about the halls without any purpose.

They were bumping into walls and drooling on the floors and tripping on their own feet and then trying to walk while still on the floor.

It was a mess.

"What happened to them?" Jennifer asked as she dodged out of the path of Goyle who was contentedly drooling all over his shoe.

He quickly smacked into a wall and fell backwards, creating a pool of spittle around his head.

"Augh…that's disgusting." Kimmie said as they rounded the corner and started climbing the stairs.

"I think it was the effects of the brains' hypnosis." Isabel reasoned.

Kimmie nodded in agreement.

"Does that mean-? Oh no…"

They all ran pell-mell to Dumbledore's office.

"Jolly rancher!" Kathryn shouted.

"That's one of the good things about being a teacher's apprentice." She explained after being given questioning looks.

They quickly scaled the stairs and threw open his door.

Dumbledore was not there.

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Kimmie: Ok, so from now on the chapters will end with a Circle Time-

Everyone except Kathryn: Aww! Come on!

Kimmie: (shrugs) We haven't got a better name. No one has suggested anything yet.

(collective sighs)

Everyone is sitting aroundin a circle in Dumbledore's office.

Maureen: (rolls her eyes at the description) Of course we're sitting around in a circle! It's called 'Circle Time'.

Hey, I'm just a narrator.

Maureen: Pfft. Fine.

Morgan: So, what are we going to talk about?

Jenny: MY RATS! THEY'RE SO COOL! I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT THEY ARE ZUKO AND SYRUS! SQWEEEEEEE!

Bradley: Yes, yes it is cool. But Jenny...I think you might be a little obsessed with them...

Jenny: (narrows eyes) what are you saying?

Morgan: well...you do spend too much time with them...

Bradley: And...you obsess over them...

Jenny: How so?

Morgan: Well...you take them to every class...

Bradley: And you pet them and talk to them _during_ class...

Morgan: And you take twoGryffindor's plates at mealtimes and put food on it for them...

Bradley: You even went to the kitchens to recommend food they like...

Jenny: oh...well...that's not...too...obsessed...

Stacey: um...yeah it kinda is...

Jenny: Come on! You would too if you had pets that were your crushes!

Everyone: oh...good point...

That is the end of the first Circle Time.

All: Gah! Retched name...

Review peas.

you: How dare you call me a vegetable!

me: um...I was saying that in- (sigh) nevermind. Review _please_.

you: that's better.


	11. Plans For The Brains' Destruction

YAY! It's finally spring break! Doo deedoo. (does the moonwalk) I'm hoping to finish this story by the end of the week so I can start another one. I have a very good plot in mind.

(People gasp)

Yes, it is possible. (lighning strikes across the black background) I _CAN_ THINK OF AN ACTUAL PLOT! MWUAAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!

Ahem, anyways. The new Circle-time will be called Interruption-Of-Our-Story-To-Entertain-Ourselves Time for this chappy and maybe the next chappy because it was a suggestion by Marieko and all suggestions will be taken into account and will most likely be used for at least one chapter.

Disclaimer: Everything, except for my friends and I, belongs to J. K. Rowling. Mmyes. The one author-

(loud, deep, echo-y voice) TO RULE THEM ALL! MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!

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"What are we going to do? What are we going to doooo!" Stacey wailed as she paced about Dumbledore's office.

The friends were scattered about the room, sitting haphazardly on chairs or tables or even lounging on a large trunk as Bradley was doing with her arm draped over her eyes in a defeated way.

Kathryn was leaning against his large desk and looking about at the empty paintings.

"Probably waltzing about the dungeon trying to look for canaries or something trivial." She mused.

Jennifer sighed and leant her face in her hands in a tired manner.

"If we're going to do something we need to think of it fast."

"Yeah," Kimmie jumped in, "There has got to be some way to defeat them."

Isabel nodded, "Everyone has a weak spot."

"Yeah…" Stacey sighed, a dreamy look crossing her features, "And mine is Draco."

Jennie shook her head, "You're too obsessed with him. That's not healthy."

Stacey gave her a pointed look, "And fondling over animangi crushes _is_?"

"….Good point…."

The nine collectively sighed.

"Is there _anything_ we can do?" Maureen asked cynically.

"There has to be. This is our fault and we should fix it." Morgan piped up.

"How is this _our_ fault?" Jennifer asked from the couch.

Morgan rolled her eyes, "Do you honestly think that J. K. Rowling would write about flying brains who want to take over the universe?"

"Oh yeah."

"Wow I feel stupid…"

"Good point."

"True, true."

"I need a toaster-strudel."

"Alright, alright. Now, we need ideas." Kathryn took charge.

"I say we bombard them with information!" Morgan suggested, "Then maybe they'll overload and explode …or…something…"

Everyone shrugged, they couldn't think of anything better; so they headed off towards the library and then to where the brains were staying.

It took awhile to find them, but they were eventually found in the dungeons.

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The nine slumped back into Dumbledore's office, coughing smoke and wiping dust off their clothes.

"Well…" Isabel said from one of the chairs, "That didn't work…"

"Some idea Morgan."

"We nearly _died_!"

"I had to read from a book that wanted to eat my fingers!"

"SHUSH! Geez. I'm sorry, ok?" Morgan said while putting a small fire out that was on her melting shoe, "I didn't exactly say we _had_ to try my idea. That was a collective vote."

"Well…..yeah, I guess…."

"(sigh) I feel stupid again."

"You are stupid."

"Hey!"

"Guys, cut it out (cough)." Kathryn said as she, once again, coughed a puff of smoke. "We still need a plan."

"The one plan?" Bradley started in a deep, evil voice.

"To RULE THEM ALL?" Stacey joined in.

The other seven blinked.

"Ahem."

"sorry…"

"Riiiiight, so. Any ideas?"

"Hmm….I think we should try the opposite of Morgan's idea." Isabel suggested.

Morgan gaped, "Great! Rub it in some more about how stupid Morgan is."

"Don' worry love. Aye luv ya." Jack Sparrow said from her bookmark (a/n: she wasn't reading, he's just there…ok?...ok).

Morgan hugged it, "Aww. Thank you Jack."

"Uh…"

"What the crap?"

"Where can I get one!"

"Why does the sky change colors?"

"Ok, now. All in favor of trying the opposite of Morgan's plan?" Kathryn asked.

Eight raised their hands.

Morgan 'humphed'.

"Right, then. So ah…what exactly did you have in mind Isabel?"

Seven curious eyes turned to her.

She smirked.

"We be as unpredictable, random, and insane as possible."

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(creepy announcer-guy voice) This time on Interruption-Of-Our-Story-To-Entertain-Ourselves Time, they shall talk about the effects of different kinds of cheese in everyday life.

Stacey- I think that it is important to have different cheeses.

Bradley- Yes, otherwise you would just eat one kind of cheese.

Kathryn- ...

Morgan- And that would be boring.

Isabel- ...

Stacey- Yes, it would be very boring.

Kimmie- ...

Bradley- And terrible. If you never ate different varieties of cheeses, you wouldn't be able to try them all.

Jennifer- ...

Stacey- Yes, and that would be especially terrible because only those who have tried almost every kind of cheese get to taste the sacred cheese.

Bradley- (nods)

Morgan- Sacred cheese?

Stacey&Bradley- Portobello cheese. (a/n: not a real kind of cheese)

Morgan- (lifts eyebrow)

Stacey- Have you not heard the tale?

Morgan- (shakes head)

Bradley- (Starts to sing to tune of 'Portobello Road' from Bedknobs & Broomsticks) Portobello cheese! Portobello cheese!

Stacey- I'll have it with a tankerd of rum if you please!

Stacey&Bradley- Anything and everything can go-o with cheese! So pass me the swiss and the po-ortobe-ello cheese!

Maureen- Now I'm hungry. I'm going back to the kitchens. (leaves circle)


	12. Preparation For Plan 1

Hope you like this one!

Disclaimer: None of the HP characters or settings are mine. They are J. K. Rowlings.

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"I feel so stupid!" Maureen hissed through the bathroom door that she was changing in.

"You're not the only one." Jenny scoffed, pulling at the skirt that she was forced to wear.

"Hey! Come on guys, this is fun and you know it! You're just too stubborn to admit it." Morgan 'humphed'.

After Isabel had given her idea about them being as unpredictable, random, and insane as possible, the group had sat around in their usual circle and came up with crazy ideas that might weaken the brains.

Most of them were chosen to be used.

The first one that they were going to try, being the first one suggested, was Morgan's.

"Why are we dressed up like Sailor Moon characters again?" Jessica asked from where she was sitting on one of the dorm-beds.

They were in the Hufflepuff dorms because the Slytherin ones were too cold, the Gryffindor too tacky, and the Ravenclaw too…knowledge-like and pressuring. The Hufflepuff one was just right.

Morgan sighed with impatience, she had explained this several times already.

"It was just an idea. We're going to be dressed up like Sailor Moon characters, act like them completely, and hopefully that will confuse the brains as to which world they are in."

Jessica blinked in confusion, "Uh…."

"Just go with it." Kathryn said while checking herself over in the mirror, "I like this skirt…I might just keep it."

Kimmie banged on the door, "Come on Maureen! We all look stupid; just come out here and join the club."

The door opened slowly and with extreme reluctance.

"I look like a sluttish schoolgirl." Maureen remarked with a grimace.

"We all do. Now, we need to go over which characters we all are." Stacey called the group to order.

"Is there _really_ a character with meatball-looking hair-buns on her head?" Bradley asked, pulling at her newly-shaped hair.

"Yes." Several voices answered.

"Now, Bradley is Sailor Moon. Her Earth name is Serena. Be sure to go on and on about how you are going to stop the brains from ruining humanity or all that is good or something." Stacey continued.

Bradley nodded, already coming up with corny phrases.

"Kimmie? You're Sailor Neptune. Her Earth name is Michele. She's really emotional so if one of us acts like we're dead, like Bradley most likely will, then you need to cry and yell that she will be avenged and stuff like that."

Kimmie sighed, but nodded.

"Alright…Jessica is Sailor Pluto. Her Earth name is Setsuna. She's wise and gives advice and warns people so um…..yeah I don't really know what you can do…."

Jessica raised an eyebrow.

"Anyways, Morgan is Sailor Saturn. Her Earth name is Hotaru and she has a sort of alter ego called Mistress Nine. You can throw a Jekyll and Hyde fit between two polar opposites. Sort of like Gollum, if you will."

Morgan clapped happily.

"Right then, Kathryn is Sailor Mars who is also known as Raye. Criticize every attack or move that everyone does and act like a prude."

"Gotcha."

"Jenny is Sailor Jupiter who is also known as Lita-"

"GAH! Why do I have to be part of this?" Jenny asked.

Stacey shrugged, "Because you make nine. Without you we wouldn't make the inner and outer Sailor Scouts."

"Sailor Scouts?" Maureen scoffed from the foot of the bed where Jessica was sitting, "What _are_ these characters? Crime fighting sluttish–schoolgirl- girl scouts?"

"If you want to put it that way. Moving on, Maureen is Sailor Uranus-"

"Great. You know what that sounds like when you break it up? Ur-anus?" Maureen remarked with a smirk.

"Bah! Yes, yes. That joke is old. Anyway, just act yourself." Stacey finished.

"Lastly, Isabel is Sailor Mercury whose Earth name is Amy. You can consult a blue screen-thing that is sort of like half a pair of glasses, which spouts off information about the enemy. Uuuumm….ah! Here it is." She said as she pulled out half of a pair of blue sunglasses that were clearly broken off.

"Uuuh… How can this stay on my face?" Isabel questioned while inspecting the glasses.

Stacey shrugged, "Figure it out. I am Sailor Venus whose Earth name is Mina and I shall be the most girly of us all!" She finished with the flourish.

"So, everyone remember their parts?"

"Uhhh….."

"Excellent! Let's go find the brains."

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Thought the chappy was over, didn't you? Well, it's not.

We now join the nine friends on their trek in the hallways to the dungeons.

"So, this hallway is empty." Kimmie said, interrupting the silence.

"Yes, yes it is."

"Like my head."

"I like cheese."

"We know that."

"So? It's a good thing to know. If a person doesn't like cheese then you know that they are weird and open for mocking."

"What if they're lactose intolerant?"

"Oh…"

"Guys? Which way?" Kathryn said as they came to a split between left and right.

"Uhh….I don't know……."

Kathryn sighed with impatience, "Well, which way did we go la-"

But she was interrupted when Goyle stumbled right into her, making her loose her balance and slamming into the wall.

"Hey, you big jerk!" She yelled at his back, punching her fist at the air in his direction.

To everyone's astonishment, fire burst from her fist in the form of a fire-ball and hit Goyle right on the head; immediately catching his hair on fire.

Being completely devoid of brain-power, he didn't seem to notice and continued walking.

"What just ….happened?" Kathryn asked, staring at her fist.

Everyone gaped and blinked, that couldn't be possible.

Why hadn't any of them been able to shoot fire-balls from their fists?

"Huh…that's strange…Sailor Mars, your appointed Sailor Scout, has the power to control fire…" Stacey remarked, stroking her chin.

"You mean…I can create fire?" Kathryn asked, staring at her hands with wide eyes.

"That's…what I said."

"I can create fire…" Kathryn whispered as she took several steps forward, still staring at her hands.

"I can create fire!" She yelled, turning around.

"…Yes." Stacey replied, looking shifty-eyed at her sister's strangeness.

"HAHA! I can create fiyah!" Kathryn yelled insanely.

"It's been established that you can create fire." Isabel dead-panned.

"Huh…I wonder if I can do anything…." Jenny asked, now looking at her hands.

"Ah ah. But even if you all have powers mine will reign supreme! Because with my fingers… I can create fiyah!" Kathryn continued.

Stacey sighed and gave a hard yank at Kathryn's hair.

"Ow!" Kathryn yelled, holding her head. "Thanks."

"No problem."

"If all of us have powers, shouldn't we practice them or something?" Isabel asked, looking wearily at her fingers.

"Huh. Good idea, we probably should."

"To the Room of Requirement!"

So, the nine friends changed their destination and headed straight to the Room of Requirement which was furnished with targets, had walls that looked to be impenetrable, and one corner looked to be part of a very familiar evil lair.

"Oooh! Oooh!" Bradley ran to that part of the room and catapulted herself into the egg-shaped chair and turned around so that her back was facing the group.

They all raised an eyebrow as one.

Bradley then began quoting in a familiar voice, "You wish to know about my childhood? Very well. My mother had webbed feet and my father would make outrageous claims; like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. My childhood was typical. Who am I? I am…"

She turned around in her chair, tipped her elbow in the air, lifted her pinkie to her lip and made the common face of-

"Dr. Evil."

"Haha! Good one."

"He's my hero."

"Ooooh! I wanna try the targets!" Kathryn squealed when she noticed them, immediately shooting fire-balls at them.

"Hey, what's my power?" Jessica asked.

"Yeah! And what's mine?" Jenny asked excitedly.

"Ok, ok. I'll tell you all. Bradley, you can use your tiara as a weapon-Frisbee, you also can use a disguise pen to look like someone else. " Stacey answered.

"Awesome! Where's the pen?"

Stacey shrugged, "I guess it would work if you used this pen that I keep in my purse." She handed the pen to Bradley.

When it touched her hand, it changed to the fat, pink, actual Disguise Pen.

"This is wicked…"

"Jessica has the power to control time, Jenny can control and create lightning, Kimmie and Isabel both have power over water, Morgan can destroy a whole planet-"

"Woah. Really?" Morgan asked.

"Well, no because you don't have the staff."

"Oh…Whew. Good. That would suck if I accidentally destroyed everything."

"Anyways, I have the 'power of love' and I can use 'love chain' to tie up people; also I can shoot a sort of laser from my tiara-thing, Maureen can't really control anything but she can do some serious butt-kicking because Uranus is wicked at martial-arts."

"Sweet."

"And, as you all know, Kathryn can control fire."

"Hey look! I actually hit a target!" Kathryn yelled happily, pointing at the charred circle.

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I hope that you enjoyed this chapter at least a little. Everything is planned out for the remaining chapters so you can expect a new chapter every day.

Oh! I almost forgot:

Here is today's Interrupting-Our-Story-to-Entertain-Ourselves Time

Today's subject is: Larceny and it's effect in the Milk business

Maureen: That's a stupid subject.

Morgan: Is there really anything to talk about?

Maureen: Really.

Jessica: Well, you know that it'ssort of larceny that the Milk people steal cow's milk for our own purposes.

Maureen: That's called industry. It's imperative for development.

Jessica: Yeah...I know, but the poor cows! It looks like it hurts...

Maureen: ok...ew...

Bradley: I suggest a subject change.

Kathryn: Second!

Kimmie: Third!

Isabel: Hear hear!

Jenny: So, what's the new subject?

Stacey: How about washable markers?

Kimmie: Why washable markers?

Stacey: I don't know.

Isabel:What about washable markers?

Stacey: ummmm...their...affect on childrens' coloring?

Kathryn: Yeeeaaaah. no.

Jenny: I have an idea. How about we just leave it at that?

Isabel: Good enough for me.

Kimmie: Same here.

Join us next time when we will be discussing the development of junk food.


	13. Author's Note

Hello wonderful reviewers. I have awful news, as you might have guessed from the Author's Note as the chapter title.

Anyways, the point is that this story is currently on hiatus. I have all the ideas in my head, but I just can't seem to write them…

Hopefully that makes at least some sense.

I don't know how long this interim will last, but I will try my best for it to not be too lengthy.

I wrote another story and the inspiration and ideas make it easier to write than this one.

During this interim, feel free to read that one.

It's called 'It was hard to breathe', by the way.

It's much more dark though, so I'm sorry if you like the light stuff.

Til I write again. Adou.


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